What Does It Really Mean to Be a Dad in 2025
What does it really mean to be a dad in 2025? We asked three fathers from the National Women’s Law Center’s network to reflect on this question—and their answers tell a powerful story of an evolving portrait of modern fatherhood. They are not the dads of outdated sitcoms or tired tropes. They are challenging societal stereotypes, taking responsibility for being primary caregivers, showing up for bedtime routines, and striving to be emotionally present and hands-on every day. But in a society still dominated by traditional family stereotypes, being that kind of dad still comes with resistance. The lingering stigma that caregiving is a woman’s job hasn’t disappeared—it just often looks different now. Whether it’s the unspoken expectations at work—with only 5% of new dads taking paternity leave of at least two weeks, the side-eye at the playground, or the internal pressure to “provide” above all else, today’s fathers are navigating a culture that hasn’t fully caught up. The stories below of dads navigating a new reality in 2025, both the progress and the persistent gaps, remind us that redefining fatherhood isn’t just about a personal choice. It’s about structural change.
Michael Sigelman and Kyle Mulhall, dads to 7-year-old fraternal twins Gene and Jillian
“Being a parent to a young girl and boy in today’s world is accompanied by daily rewards and challenges. When a friend reminded us that ‘The days are long, but the years are short…cherish them’, we promptly worked to change our mindset and enjoy the fun moments their innocence and sense of humor bring to our world each day. Being a married, committed, gay parent carries its own rewards and challenges, as well.
As a father of two, I’d say one thing I experience that surprises me is the almost daily messages of reassurance I receive from friends and family, either by text or phone conversation. Sometimes I wonder, though, if people would still provide this daily encouragement if I was a female; the assumption that a male parent—and especially two gay dads—would lead people to assume that our children are not physically and mentally comforted and nurtured, and their need to feel safe and loved are not met on a daily basis. Instead of worrying and wondering, I put that negative thinking out of my mind and instead appreciate the messages every time and embrace the love and encouragement. Now, those messages always make me smile and feel reassured, especially on those exhausting, challenging-but-rewarding days.”
Alan, dad to Jojo and Nico
“I have always viewed fatherhood as one of my top, if not my top, priorities in my life.
I have chosen to sacrifice elements of my career development in order to be present and available to my children as they were growing up. For a number of reasons, my wife and I chose to reverse the societal norms regarding who would be the primary caretaker of the kids.
As a result of this, when it came time for me to enter the workforce again as a full-time worker, my options were very limited because of age and lost skills. I fully believe that being a father has been the most meaningful part of my life up to this point. Being fully engaged as a father has meant that I have been able to enjoy a wide range of joys, sorrows, and life experiences that I otherwise would not have had the opportunity to enjoy. Looking at it from this life vantage point in the arc of my life, I would have been greatly impoverished if I hadn’t taken advantage of the vistas that fatherhood offered.”
Bob, Dad to two boys
“When my sons were little, we’d sometimes take the train downtown after school and visit my wife at work. Along the way, complete strangers would ask if I was enjoying babysitting, or proclaim “you’re doing a great job, dad!” Before children, we didn’t know about daycare waiting lists and so our original plan was for me to take a few weeks of unpaid leave while my wife kept her job, but it turned into a decade of staying at home, managing laundry, meals, playground trips, and sleep schedules. I recognize this variety of parenthood is unusual, but what that really means is that the very normal work of new mothers as “domestic engineers” is really just overlooked or ignored. Here I am, barely doing half the work of raising children (OK, looking at the laundry piles, way less than half), and it is seen as extraordinary and commendable.
Now that my children are in school all day, their former preschool asked me to work part-time as a classroom aide. As part of the onboarding, they needed a current resume, so I listed my relevant skills: I can read books upside-down, I know how to pump my legs on a swing, I have passable finger painting skills for a 4-year-old… What went unsaid was a deep patience, a tolerance for noise, a willingness to adapt, and never forgetting what it feels like being little and needing someone’s help.
Both at home and at school, kids don’t really care that I’m a man, doing work traditionally done by women. Adults notice it, as a novelty, and then either overestimate me, as a “Mr. Mom” who must be incredible at raising children, or underestimate me, as someone only capable of “women’s work.” The truth is completely different than either of these judgements. I decided for myself that raising children is important and challenging work, and that it was the best choice for our family.”
These stories remind us that fatherhood today looks different in many ways—and that’s a good thing. But what hasn’t caught up is the infrastructure to support it. Affordable, accessible child care remains out of reach for too many families, forcing difficult choices about who stays home, who works, and how to juggle it all. The lack of a national paid leave policy, the soaring costs of child care, and the cultural stigma that caregiving is “women’s work” all feed into a system that undervalues and under-resources families, mainly those trying to share caregiving more equally.
If we want to normalize dads taking time off, showing up at school pickup, or staying home during those early years, we need federal investment that makes it possible. Investing in child care and paid leave is both an economic and a cultural issue. It opens the door for all parents, regardless of gender, to show up for their families without penalty. And it sends a clear message: caregiving isn’t just a mother’s responsibility—it’s a shared commitment and deserves real support.
